personal struggle.. the need to do more.

Am I doing enough? Am I accomplishing what he has put me here to do? Is there more  I could be doing  for others and am I using my time here wisely? These are questions that I constantly struggle with.  Last night ... I poured out some feelings that have lately been on my heart and I would like to share them.   

Lately , my days consist of going to class to finish my degree and working hard to support myself. (but it is all for me, and  that is not what I like to feel).   ALL FOR WHAT?!.. A SLIP of paper that will tell me I can get a certain type of job.   I Don't feel like I should need a piece of paper telling me I have had a certain amount of education that makes me qualified or not.  I have never believed in this.. but unfortunately it is how our world works now a days.    Most people need that "PIECE OF PAPER" saying they are educated enough to get the job they desire.  I don't like this.  I don't agree with this fully but I feel a TUGGING on my by the world to FINISH MY EDUCATION. 

I want to make somthing clear here.... I do not DISVALUE the importance of education and I understand why and how our world works.  However, from my life,  I have learned more from what I have seen, where I have been and what I have experienced .

I have always felt a desire in my heart to do more.. to achieve more.. to reach out to others.. and to help and share with every OUNCE of me I can.  I have been blessed by God in so many ways and only want others to feel the same affects that I feel . I think this is my duty and priveledge as a christian and as a Woman of God.

In the past year God has placed a desire in my heart to write more.. and that is what I am working towards.  but, I don't know if I am getting the proper education I need... I am going to school full time but not feeling challenged enough in the ways I feel a human needs to grow. 

When I lived in New york.. I felt the strongest pull towards Christ I had ever felt.   I felt I was pulled  in towards God  daily and felt his protection around me constantly.   There was not a day that went by that I didn't feel the "AWE" of his work.. and his hand in my life.  I had such a sense of security and safety. ---Now isn't that crazy.. in the city of new york I felt SAFE , SECURE and invinceable although I was alone and young and female.

I was learning daily.. and I left there feeling more knowledgeable and spirit filled than ever before.  

It is not the same here.. it is not the same just going to college where the GOAL is to be educated. (however I am in a rut.. I am feeling the NEED to Finish from society). I know I must finish but this is somthing I struggle with all of the time

I have a desire to travel, to see and to learn more.. to help others in need.. to experience life in other parts of the world.  COULD I BE DOING MORE? 

I also encourage you to read Royce's Blog.  . He has a much more philosophical way of speaking and a true Heart for God .  <3 

I love what he said here.....

"More precisely why don’t we be a “nation” or people with no earthly “king”, rather our king is God and God alone, yes we are to abide by the basics of the political realm which we live in as long as they do not infringe on the True Law, the Law of Love." 

and these questions he brings up are exactly what I question with politics..

So basically, why try to keep “perfecting” a  human system which is mortally flawed?  Why spend our precious time debating political agendas when we already have our agenda and the will to execute it?  Why give glory to the government which Christians should be giving/bringing to God?  Why get bogged down with political red tape when we are free to do good through Christ?  Why do we feel that our government should be the vessal which brings about restoration, reconciliation, and peace when we as the Body of Christ have been called to do just that? 

and finally a quote I love,

"I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen; not because I can see it, but because by it I see everything else." -C.S. Lewis

Love, LO